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Training - The 4 Stages of Learning!!!
The training we provide is similar to when you learn any new skill or activity. Let's take riding a bike for example. Before you try to ride a bike you don't even know that you are not good at it. This is the unconscious-incompetence stage - this is the first stage.
When you first start learning to ride you have to think about what you are doing & you are very shaky & clumsy - thinking about every detail of what to do with which leg or hand, your body balance & the handle bars jerking back & forth as you uncontrollably head towards a tree or your parents car. At this point you know you are not good at it & may be quite frustrated & scared about the whole ordeal. Your ability is in the conscious-incompetence stage.
After a little practice you are able to control the bike & keep from running into things & falling down. You have to think about what you are doing though, therefore you are in the conscious-competence stage.
After a little more practice, next thing you know you are able to jump on your bike & take off smooth & steady - without thinking about what you are doing. Now you are in the unconscious-competence stage.
Similarly, with the 4 skills you will go through these stages. Therefore, it is a good idea to practice the skills with easy, less important interactions - rather than attempting to use them during a discussion with your Regional Director about your future with the company! Practicing using the skills is what we do in our 4 Skills workshop - we use interactions you are having difficulty with to role play using the 4 skills to have a better outcome.
As you are first learning the 4 skills, during an interaction you will think this is not going the way you want it to, you will think - aha!!! - one of the 4 skills will work here. Then you will start using the skill of choice for the interaction & if it seems to go better you will think about the next stage of the skill & your total concentration will not be on the interaction & the other. After a little practice you will become more proficient & you will be more able to focus on the other in the interaction & the skills will be natural. At this point you are shifting to unconscious-competence. When you are able to use the 4 skills without thinking about it you will be able to have interactions that are significantly more intense & intimate. You will be able to find out more of what the other person really has going on both verbally & emotionally & have the interaction come out more favorably.
The technical term for this is Conscious Communicative Competence.
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